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Who is the Best Person to Ask for a Professional Reference?

Author: Gecko Hospitality

Category:  Hospitality Career Advice

Posted Date: 12/11/2019

When you’re applying for a general manager or hospitality management job, you’re not just being judged by your résumé—you’re being verified by your references.

A single call from a recruiter to the wrong person can undo years of reputation-building. It can cost more than a hospitality job. One vague, lukewarm, or careless reference can quietly move your name from the top of the shortlist to the “maybe later” pile.

References aren’t a formality—they’re a final interview, and they reveal more about your management credibility than any self-written résumé ever could.

Let’s look at how references actually influence hiring decisions, how a bad one can damage your career trajectory, and how to ask for the right kind of reference the right way.

1. Why References Matter So Much for Managers Seeking a Hospitality Job

For line-level roles, references confirm reliability. For managers, they confirm trust and influence.

When a recruiter or owner calls a reference, they’re not verifying skills—they’re checking leadership consistency, staff retention, and composure under pressure.

They want to know:

  • How did you handle conflict with ownership or corporate?

  • Were you accountable for results or dependent on upper management?

  • Would your former team work for you again?

A strong reference validates your maturity, your business results, and your ability to lead without constant oversight. In short—it proves whether you’re ready for another general manager position.

2. How a Bad Reference Derails Your Career

Most hiring managers won’t tell you a reference hurt your chances—but we can tell you, it happens constantly.

A poor or inconsistent reference can:

  • Eliminate you silently. Recruiters often remove candidates after one unconvincing or neutral call.

  • Create doubt. If a reference hesitates, even slightly, it signals hidden problems with reliability or professionalism.

  • Freeze future opportunities. Recruiters talk to each other. A questionable endorsement may follow you across the industry.

  • Damage salary negotiation. If a reference downplays your achievements, you lose leverage for higher pay or senior-level titles.

It doesn’t have to be negative to hurt you—an unenthusiastic “They did fine” can be just as damaging as an outright complaint.

3. The Hidden Red Flags Recruiters Look for When Filling a Hospitality Job

When hospitality recruiters check references, they listen for tone and detail.

Some examples of red flags:

  • “We parted on good terms.” Translation: average performance, nothing memorable.

  • “They were great with guests but needed oversight.” Translation: not GM-ready.

  • “They worked hard.” Translation: no strategic impact.

  • Long pauses or vague answers. Translation: this person doesn’t fully endorse you.

Hiring executives don’t need overt negativity to say no—they just need uncertainty. A good recruiter can hear hesitation in the first ten seconds.

4. How to Ask for a Reference the Right Way

Never assume someone will be a good reference just because you worked together. Approach the process like you’d approach a business negotiation—prepared, professional, and clear.

Step 1 – Choose people who have seen your best work.
Pick direct supervisors, ownership contacts, or department heads who can speak about measurable outcomes: revenue growth, team retention, cost control, or property performance.

Step 2 – Ask personally, not by email.
Call them. A voice conversation lets you gauge tone and willingness. Say something like:

“I’m exploring a few new management opportunities. You were closely involved in our operations, and I’d appreciate being able to use you as a professional reference. Would you be comfortable speaking to my performance and leadership?”

Step 3 – Give context.
Once they agree, tell them what kind of position you’re pursuing and what skills matter most for that role. Example:

“This next role is focused on labor forecasting and multi-unit operations, so if you’re able to mention how I managed scheduling or trained department leads, that would be helpful.”

Step 4 – Follow up with a thank-you note.
After they’ve spoken with the recruiter, send a short thank-you message. Not only is it professional—it keeps the relationship warm for the next opportunity.

5. When (and When Not) to Use a Current Employer

Avoid using your current employer unless you’ve already given notice or they explicitly support your job search. Even a friendly supervisor might protect company interests over your future.

Recruiters know that confidentiality matters. If you’re in an active role, use previous ownership contacts, district managers, or peer-level colleagues who can speak credibly without breaching trust.

If a hiring company insists on contacting your current employer, ask the recruiter to wait until a conditional offer is made.

6. How to Coach Your References Without Sounding Scripted

You can’t write their answers—but you can guide their focus.

Before a reference call, send a quick message outlining what to expect:

  • The company name and type of role you’re being considered for.

  • The main points you’d appreciate them highlighting.

  • A recent success story they might recall.

For example:

“They may ask about leadership under pressure. If it helps, you could mention how we managed the full turnover during high season and still hit 90% guest satisfaction.”

Good references appreciate this. It helps them recall specific examples and speak confidently.

7. How to Spot (and Replace) Weak References

If a reference seems hesitant, unavailable, or disinterested, remove them immediately. A weak reference is worse than none at all.

Signs you should replace them:

  • They take more than 48 hours to respond.

  • They give short, polite answers when asked to help.

  • They say, “Sure, just put me down,” but don’t ask what it’s for.

Strong references ask follow-up questions—they want to help you win the job.

Replace weak ones with:

  • A former supervisor or owner from a different location.

  • A colleague from a company partnership (e.g., vendor or event coordinator).

  • A senior peer who worked with you during a company transition.

8. Prepare for Verification Beyond References

At the executive or general manager level, reference checks often include backchannel calls—informal conversations with industry peers who aren’t on your list.

This is why your everyday professionalism matters. Your reputation is your permanent reference file.

Owners often call friends at other properties to ask, “Would you hire this person?” If that answer isn’t an immediate yes, the opportunity can evaporate overnight.

Maintain relationships even after leaving a company. Your reputation travels faster than your résumé.

9. When to Use a Recruiter as a Reference Partner

If you’re working with a recruiter, they can act as a reference filter. At Gecko Hospitality, for example, we often help candidates identify who will make the strongest impression and pre-brief those contacts before the employer calls.

We also tell owners how to interpret reference tone accurately—so a “good, solid manager” isn’t mistaken for a red flag when it’s really cultural mismatch.

Using a recruiter as an intermediary keeps your reference process professional and protects your relationships from miscommunication.


10. How to Recover From a Bad Reference

If you suspect a reference is holding you back, don’t panic—but don’t ignore it.

Ask your recruiter directly if any reference feedback raised concern. You may not get details, but tone matters. If they hesitate, replace that reference immediately.

You can also add balancing voices—another supervisor or peer who can offset the narrative. Recruiters understand that not every manager relationship is perfect; what matters is pattern and context.

The key is to take control quickly. Letting one bad reference sit in rotation can quietly kill future opportunities.

The Manager’s Takeaway

Your references are a direct reflection of your management legacy. They’re not a box to tick—they’re your proof of credibility.

Choose people who:

  • Can speak to business outcomes, not personality.

  • Respond quickly and professionally.

  • Know your leadership, not just your friendliness.

  • Represent different perspectives: ownership, peer, subordinate.

Avoid anyone uncertain, overly cautious, or too far removed from your work. A halfhearted endorsement does more damage than a missing one.

The best references don’t describe what you did—they explain how you improved the business.

At Gecko Hospitality, we help hotel and restaurant managers prepare their references strategically—because one strong voice can move your name from shortlist to offer, and one weak voice can quietly close the door.

Don’t let your next opportunity hinge on someone unprepared to represent your work. Choose your references like you’d choose your staff—capable, credible, and ready to deliver results.

If you’re looking for your next job, contact Gecko Hospitality today.

 

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